The Nightingale And Her Song
My daughter is my best friend who has taught me new age vocabulary, from “Meh” to “Bleh”. Recently she told me,”Mom, our generation terms women like you as ‘Feminazi’.”
Hmmm! interesting. ‘Feminazi’, I think is the right term for the girl I was, some 30 years back.
After experiencing life for more than 50 years, I think now there is only one word to describe me, ‘woman’.
I have thoroughly enjoyed all stages of womanhood; from a daughter to mother. I always wonder, why there is so much brouhaha, (Thank you Mr Shashi Tharoor, for reminding me this word) about breaking stereotypes and gender roles! I wonder, why do people (read women) get uncomfortable seeing a woman, living a home maker’s life! I also wonder, why are we always over appreciative of the women, who have been successful in breaking free from shackles of relationships, while not of those who changed their world and carried on bravely against all odds.
Raising banners against restrictive gender roles is fine, but judging a woman’s choice to stay with the family, despite difficult situations is not cool.
While talking about women’s freedom; from stereotypes, expectations, idolization and sacrifices; have we ever considered their life’s circumstances? The circumstances, which impel them to make certain choices which might be considered against the cliched definition of a ‘Modern woman’.
Yes, women sometimes decide to get stereotyped; suffer to live up to other’s expectations and get idolized for that. They make sacrifices for the children but that’s fine. Why sensationalize?
Our life situations and circumstances lead us towards a particular direction. Why should women not be applauded for being brave. Bravery doesn’t always mean walking out of relationships and fighting. It requires a lot of courage to clap for your man standing in the wings while you know that you are the “secret behind that successful man”. A strong woman knows that she is the energy behind the shining stars she has created. Her strength requires no validation.
A mother and a wife might decide to do everything to make her husband and children shine like stars but does that mean, she herself is not?
Successful women are not only those, who rise in their careers, earn huge salaries and roam around the world alone; but simple home makers looking after the needs of their families, always available for the loved ones, are equally successful.
Every way a star….
Stars come in all sizes. Some are incredibly big, while some are the tiny ones. Strangely enough, it is always the larger stars that have the shorter lifespan than the tiny ones. A star is a star, large or tiny, doesn’t matter. All of them equally deserve a salute.
All women cannot be big stars, so let them be happy as the smaller ones. Each one of us, fighting our personal battles, is a feminist. Who needs a ‘Feminazi’?
- let’s STOP criticizing each other for managing house, life and family despite being post graduates.
- Let’s STOP telling a woman that she is foolish to sacrifice her career for the sake of her kids and family.
- Let’s STOP telling her anything about her looks, good or bad anything, just let her glow in self pride.
Let’s celebrate womanhood for their individual choices. One life’s biggest truth might be the biggest farce for another life. Why a women makes a particular decision is her individual story, which only she can unfold.
If she reaches out to you for help, do it but remember no one gave you the right to make decisions on her behalf.
Let peace and love prevail and let the nightingale sing her own song.